Stock Market Wrangler Gifts

"Have I (hic) godda deal for you."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

Why you must go to work

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

...Shares can go up as well as down.

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

The Critic...

The Bullish World

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

What goes up...

'I seem to have lost my reason for buying stocks.'

'And Fenwick, those pesky third quarter stats? Don't tweak 'em �' torque 'em!'

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Investments: Buy local! Our 'Value' funds are all New York values.

Help! Bought IPOs with IOUs.

Stock Market Adventure

'Forget about it. What's to say that Frobisher's apples are any better than the hedge fund he used to run?'

"After all O'Shaunessy, this is Wall Street."

Profit Cowboy

Wall Street walking traffic sign flashes 'Worry' and 'Don't Worry.'