Report Wrangler Gifts

"Turns out Mommy's life is one big long report, sweeitie."

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'A little advice - when the boss says to have the reports done on time.....don't call his bluff!'

'How can something so comforting in nature be so irritating in my office.'

'I have to write a few reports, draw up some contracts, and take care of the office guinea pig over the weekend.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

How Many It Takes

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Why you must go to work

'Did you want me, boss?'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

The Critic...

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'And the 4 years it took him to get the permit teaches him a lot about doing business in the U.S.'

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

An expletive of editors

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Profit Cowboy

"Can I add just one more project to your workload?"

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'