News Wrangler Gifts

An expletive of editors

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

High Riders of the Old West

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

Editor.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Why you must go to work

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

The Critic...

Literary rain

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

The difference between cats and dogs.

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

Maybe the kids shouldn't watch the evening news.

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

Profit Cowboy

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"Can I add just one more project to your workload?"

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

"This contract is gobbledeegook. . . I asked for mumbo jumbo!"

"I'm knackered trying to keep tabs on the potential consequences of the away goal rule!"

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

'No more!'

Women Argues With Cabby Over Prices.