Internet Wrangler Gifts

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"What did you download at school today?"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

High Riders of the Old West

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Editor.

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

King kong 5 G.

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Cow Pilot.

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

Automation of Security

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"Henceforth I don't want you to start any new projects without consulting Professor Frankfurter or myself!"

Literary rain

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"