Opinion Wrangler Gifts

'Well, having a general opinion that fits every topic keeps him from wasting words...'

The Critic...

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

High Riders of the Old West

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Editor.

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

How Many It Takes

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

Literary rain

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

'And the 4 years it took him to get the permit teaches him a lot about doing business in the U.S.'

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

An expletive of editors

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"Not guilty, because your lawyer came up with some great excuses."

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'