Stock Market Sleeper Gifts

"It's 10 p.m. Do you know where the leading economic indicators are?"

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

"Me, I'm lazy, so I wouldn't seek an endless summer, but an endless winter. I so wish I could migrate to hibernate twice a year..."

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

Gold Crisis

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

Wall Street Down

Wall Street - Bull in China Drop

Bed and Lunch: For People Who Like To Sleep In

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

"Oh, wow! 4:30!! I slept all day again!"

My rebounding blue chips are chipping my blues away...

Driver sees man in front of church with sign: 'Fell Asleep and Wet the Pew': 'Huh - a church that's into public shaming.'

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

The turbulent euro.

"Before I prescribe a sleeping pill, I'd like you to try the opera."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

A caveman sleeps with a club labelled 'Snooze' whilst a beaten looking rooster stands by.

'With programed trading, the computer's in the driver's seat. My Money is just along for the ride!'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

'Sounds good to me, Frank. I'll have my money get in touch with your money.'

'Thinking about investing right now... my recommended position on the market is fetal.'

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

REALLY boring sermons