Stock Market Followers Gifts

"Gold prices fell. I guess we're not worth that much today."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Chinese stock market

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

Bad news, boss. The rat race is out of cheese!

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Shares Nosedive

'U.S. stocks surged on news that the government they all hate won't go out of business.'

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

Falling graphs.

'Government economists called it a 'slight market correction'.'

"I was sent on a fact finding mission. Now I'm accused of insider trading!"

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

'You're confused? We like that in a sucker...Er...I mean, investor.'

The euro as a monster

The euro currency is a bomb.

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

The market went up and down, up and down, up and down...