Stock Market Follower Gifts

"If I hadn't listened to my broker I'd have missed a wonderful opportunity to lose everything."

"'Dead cat bounce' is a total myth!"

'Requisition a bigger chart.'

'Security, sir. Did you call on some deities?'

Customer to broker: 'Before I invest with you, I have to check your credibility ... how many ulcers have you had?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'The recession is over, again.'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'The good news is we've finally turned the corner. The bad news is, no government bailout.'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

Chinese stock market

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"Presidential approval ratings. US stock market confidence indices. U.S. dollar index. So much winning."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Standard And P****d.

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

Travel looks strong!

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

'We're counting on inflation.'

'Government economists called it a 'slight market correction'.'