Stadium Strategist Gifts

Football Pitch Line Markings.

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'For our valiant athletes, this will be the open concept suite.'

'My stopwatch says Bubba just ran a 4.3 40. I think that's a runtime error.'

"When we're done building the arena, do you think we'll get free tickets?"

The MBA Draft

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

The Other Cooperstown

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."