Stadium Visionaries Gifts

Fan-Centric Stadium

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

Deregulated Baseball

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

Sports area vendors.

Midnight in Minnesota

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'That's easy: it's the Match of the Day theme tune.'

"You need glasses, dear."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"Ogg is into high-def cave art."

'You will meet a tall dark stranger and you will beat him 6-4, 6-3, 6-0!'

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

"You can always tell when we have new patients who need glasses."

'Okay boys, the single is terrible but if we can make a nasty video for it that gets banned, we got us a No1'