Stadium Visionaries Gifts

Fan-Centric Stadium

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

'Okay. Tiger took care of golf. Serena did her part at Wimbeldon. That brings us to the final frontier... hockey.'

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

Deregulated Baseball

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Virtual Reality Shop. I think our business here will expand as actual reality becomes more and more unbelievable.

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

Midnight in Minnesota

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

Sports area vendors.

'That's easy: it's the Match of the Day theme tune.'

"You need glasses, dear."

Stadium. Food. Beer. In a fan vote, pizza was chosen as the favorite food this season. Ah, so the hot dog is make a concession speech!

No More Waiting Around

"You can always tell when we have new patients who need glasses."

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

'You will meet a tall dark stranger and you will beat him 6-4, 6-3, 6-0!'

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

"Ogg is into high-def cave art."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"When I grow up, I want to have a ballpark named after the company I own."

I've discovered a new secret of life: Stadium cushions! Gurusis Universitatis.

"How do ya like that? They rejected our request that they build the new stadium out here!"