Sporting Event Strategist Gifts

World Cup sick day.

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

Snail Coach

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Are you blind ref?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.