Stadium Seat Strategist Gifts

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

Church for sports worshipers.

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

Fan-Centric Stadium

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'Ssssssh! There it is again. Hear that? It sounds like a muffled scream.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'I love high-definition TV!'

Footballer's Wages

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

Rose Bowl Lawsuit

Sorry, this game is not available in your area

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

No More Waiting Around

Stadium. Food. Beer. In a fan vote, pizza was chosen as the favorite food this season. Ah, so the hot dog is make a concession speech!

'Well, the toughest part of the fight is over . . . getting though the hostile crowd.'

'Of course, that's just a 'ballpark' figure for the cost of building a new stadium.'

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

Though Bob was 32, he still got stuck at the little table.

'What'd I miss?'