Seating Chart Strategist Gifts

'First off, always identify and corral the ring leader...'

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'When we got married, I said I'd move mountains for you...I never said anything about a sofa!'

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

Who's that little one down there?

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

Though Bob was 32, he still got stuck at the little table.

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

'We've experienced something of a recession, Mr. Bosworth, but it seems to have bottomed out.'

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

'It's a stressful time for him every year, he really worries about getting the numbers spot on!'

'We hope you don't mind, David is particular about his lumbar support.'

'...And after the superpowers have knocked each other out, WE take over!'

Is that an ace you're hiding, Ron?

Ace trampoline Co

These are the people who'll be line managing you.

Gravestones.

Let's see - what kind of war should we have now?

Football Pitch Line Markings.

'My stopwatch says Bubba just ran a 4.3 40. I think that's a runtime error.'