Seating Chart Strategist T-Shirts

'First off, always identify and corral the ring leader...'

You're getting married this year. The planning is driving me crazy. You're displacing. Every bride does it. You're channeling your anxiety and fear about getting married into focusing on things like the dinner seating chart. I forgot about the seating chart. Happy to help.

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'Darling...I'm afraid the sofa salesmen got the better of me.'

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

Flexible working

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'I'd like to ask the council's advice on how to get the congregation to sit closer to the front of the church.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'When we got married, I said I'd move mountains for you...I never said anything about a sofa!'

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

No More Waiting Around

Who's that little one down there?

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

Though Bob was 32, he still got stuck at the little table.

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

"Technically I have managed to get that big old sofa out the door..."

'We've experienced something of a recession, Mr. Bosworth, but it seems to have bottomed out.'

'Of course there's a solution - buy a three seater settee.'

'...And after the superpowers have knocked each other out, WE take over!'

'It's a stressful time for him every year, he really worries about getting the numbers spot on!'

Is that an ace you're hiding, Ron?

'We hope you don't mind, David is particular about his lumbar support.'

Ace trampoline Co

These are the people who'll be line managing you.

Gravestones.

Football Pitch Line Markings.