Chart-loving Strategist T-Shirts

ACME Balloon Company

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

Cat Trap,

'This chart illustrates how each of you will break into the industry.'

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

'We like to keep old timers involved in our expansion.'

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

'We just have to win this account, Barbara and I have another litter on the way!'

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

312 - Eat A Lot On The First Date

"It's great, Heidi! All the privacy I want without locking the door...And they probably won't figure it out until I'm in college!"

How David Really Won

"Palmer, I want you to see to the legwork; Moscowitz, you'll be my eyes and ears."

"I trademarked my name, so now you'll need to pay me to use it."

'You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming...'

'It looks like Barracuda Honey is attempting a hostile takeover.'

'This is where his experience begins to pay off.'

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back."