Snacky Strategist T-Shirts

Wii Childbirth

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Chez Nous Menu

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

To do before Saturday...

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

Under new blame.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Coronavirus Windmills

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'