Seating Plan Specialist T-Shirts

Gravestones.

Deadline

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"My schedule is just nuts."

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"Someone's screwed up. . . there's apiece of road here no-one's working on!"

"We seem to be going round in circles."

'Now, if we stick to our financial plan, I can retire at 55 and you at 87.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

'Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after Summer Vacation?'

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

'We projected every contingency except for our plan actually working.'

"A parent/teacher conference? Let me check my schedule and I'll have my people get with your people."

'I need five weekly lesson plan books. Not only do I tend to overplan, but I feel more comfortable with contingency plans.'

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

Woman on a pedestal who married the planning expert.

'The only reason I bring my bike on the train is to get a seat!'

Planning dept.

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

'We projected every contingency except for our plan actually working.'

Though Bob was 32, he still got stuck at the little table.

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

"Planning, when do I have time for that, I don't even have time to get dressed in the morning!"

'We hope you don't mind, David is particular about his lumbar support.'

'He was a brilliant strategist but not much of a horseman.'

"That's my idea of an open floor plan office."

Disorganised Crime

'It's a stressful time for him every year, he really worries about getting the numbers spot on!'

'Well, we've now taken our contingency plans as far as we possibly can!'