Sprint Sage Gifts

5K Run. How'd the 5K go, Frank? I only made it to the "G."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Well you know what they say 'here today gone tomorrow' or in the case of dotcoms, 'here today gone shortly after lunch.'

This one needs re-booting!

The subway-delay prophet of doom

A panhandler with a sign that reads "Sadder but no wiser".

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

The Senior Citizen Surfer

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

"Great waves to day, dude!"

"A door can never have too many hinges."

Roy Hodgson

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

'Dinosaur museum,soccer pundit exhibit.

"You are using an unregistered copy of this software...please register..."