Surfing Sage Gifts

The Senior Citizen Surfer

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

'Now that they offshore jobs, I come out here to look for work.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"Oh wow! Adam is on his surfing board. . ."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

Captain Thomas Coram.

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

"So did you have to wear a mask when you were sunbathing?"

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

"It needs more old salt."

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

"Great waves to day, dude!"

Sooner or Later

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

"It's true you always need to be prepared but you're not going to need the microwave."

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Country & High Brow.

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'