Surf Sage Gifts

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

"Great waves to day, dude!"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I hope it's not contagious."

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"It needs more old salt."

"It seems like all we talk about anymore is the weather."

The Senior Citizen Surfer

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Country & High Brow.

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

"Becoming the frog king doesn't mean as much now that everyone else is extinct."

"You experience violent mood swings from elation to despair? That's normal for a boat owner."