Swimming Sage Gifts

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

One way only.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"The Great Source keeps afloat, along with a little help from the sharks there."

Captain Thomas Coram.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"So did you have to wear a mask when you were sunbathing?"

"I hope it's not contagious."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"It needs more old salt."

The Senior Citizen Surfer

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

Sooner or Later

"Great waves to day, dude!"

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'