Seaside Sage Gifts

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

One way only.

Saguaro Cacti.

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

Fish near-death experiences.

Captain Thomas Coram.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

"So did you have to wear a mask when you were sunbathing?"

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

"It needs more old salt."

'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'

The Senior Citizen Surfer

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

'Your Dell went to hell.'

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

Sooner or Later

"Great waves to day, dude!"

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of refereeing are the hardest.'