Saddle Sage Gifts

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

One way only.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

"It needs more old salt."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

'No, sorry, money is the root of all evil!'

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

Country & High Brow.

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of refereeing are the hardest.'