Salad Sage Gifts

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"This is lovely, Mike, but what I wanted was for you to do me a solid."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Diet considerations.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"First you make a roux."

"How are we on bread?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

Free salad bar.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."