Vegetable Sage Gifts

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

The Authentic Christmas.

"First you make a roux."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"How are we on bread?"

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

Saguaro Cacti.

Fish near-death experiences.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

A fortune cookie for investors.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'

Long and Short Term Investments.

'This equation of economic theory attempts to predict the results of a speculative trade, a day after it is placed.'