Seasoning Sage Gifts

Culinary School. Just taste it to check the seasoning --- You don't need to proofread you alphabet soup.

'I just love the change of seasons.'

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

"Yes, we have a salt substitute. That would be pepper."

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"First you make a roux."

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Fumes from furniture

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Fish near-death experiences.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

This salad tastes funky� Is this ranch dressing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir� I thought you ordered raunch dressing.

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Strategic Metals and Non-Strategic Metals.

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"It needs more old salt."

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

Mice spice

"No wonder it's not done. You've got it set on grow."

Worcestershire cat