Seasoning Sage Mugs

'I just love the change of seasons.'

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

"Yes, we have a salt substitute. That would be pepper."

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

"First you make a roux."

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Fumes from furniture

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Fish near-death experiences.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"It needs more old salt."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

Strategic Metals and Non-Strategic Metals.

Mice spice

"No wonder it's not done. You've got it set on grow."

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

Worcestershire cat

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'