Salty Sage Mugs

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

Fumes from furniture

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'

Saguaro Cacti.

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

Fish near-death experiences.

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

"It needs more old salt."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'I just love the change of seasons.'

'No, sorry, money is the root of all evil!'

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

'Which side of this cake is the left side?'

"You experience violent mood swings from elation to despair? That's normal for a boat owner."