Salad Sage Mugs

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

This salad tastes funky� Is this ranch dressing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir� I thought you ordered raunch dressing.

"This is lovely, Mike, but what I wanted was for you to do me a solid."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"How are we on bread?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"First you make a roux."

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"I told you to order the mild salsa!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'Leader shy and angler wise I can put up with - it's the darn insolence that bothers me.'