Swing Sage Gifts

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"There's just no stopping George, is there?"

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Good news, I can make you a member of our waiting list.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Dog stretching before a walk.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

One way only.

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"It needs more old salt."

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

The Senior Citizen Surfer

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush