Iron-swinging Sage Gifts

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

One way only.

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

Captain Thomas Coram.

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

The perils of overwork.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

"It needs more old salt."

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

'Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair!'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

Sooner or Later

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

Country & High Brow.