Syringe Sage Gifts

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Dog stretching before a walk.

Fumes from furniture

Covid v Vaccinator

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Your Dell went to hell.'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

'I just love the change of seasons.'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

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