Stretching Sage Gifts

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

Dog stretching before a walk.

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

I love embroidery

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Saguaro Cacti.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

The perils of overwork.

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

'I just love the change of seasons.'

'This is where my dad goes to seed.'

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

Country & High Brow.

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

"Finally, a world where everyone wants to serve me."