Farming Sage Gifts

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

Dog stretching before a walk.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

The Authentic Christmas.

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Saguaro Cacti.

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"When I said to fight back, I didn't realize the school bully you were referring to was the principal!"

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

'Apparently it's something to do with our methane gas output.'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'I just love the change of seasons.'