Cycling Sage Gifts

"You just couldn't shut up could you?"

When Daisy died, you said she'd gone to a better place!

The experienced backpacker.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

The subway-delay prophet of doom

The Senior Citizen Surfer

'OK, I'll admit it. You're a genius at parallel parking.'

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

"A door can never have too many hinges."

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Thoughts in Traffic

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

"Finally, a world where everyone wants to serve me."

Holiday on Thin Ice

"I find the ride goes a lot quicker when you have someone to try to convert."

Your old battery doesn't recharge like it used to. I know just how it feels.

"Why don't you get off the road and use the bike lane?"

Golf Guru

'I just want to know where I can find a parking space in the city centre this afternoon.'

5K Run. How'd the 5K go, Frank? I only made it to the "G."