Traveling Sage Gifts

"I find the ride goes a lot quicker when you have someone to try to convert."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

The experienced backpacker.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Lady of the bath...

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

The Paper Route

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Rent a Room With Hot Water

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

Three Witches from Macbeth

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"Less roman, more clef."

'No! - You can't build sand castles!'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

'Beautiful book. However, I'm afraid it lacks video game potential.'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

When cartoonists get ahead of themselves.

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Sylvia Plath

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'I still have all my own teeth.'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'