Seafaring Sage Gifts

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain Thomas Coram.

Sooner or Later

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

The experienced backpacker.

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Lady of the bath...

'Are we there yet?'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Viking Loch Ness

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The Paper Route

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"International trade"

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"Less roman, more clef."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

Three Witches from Macbeth

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"