Soulful Sage Gifts

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

Honey badger do care.

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Having a senior moment

Distilleries Association

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

"Oh-oh - I think I just lost my enlightenment momentum!"

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'