Thoughtful Sage Gifts

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

That party went well.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Voltaire

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

It's the thought that counts!

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

Barry Cryer.

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Philosopher Wang Yangming, China

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

Having a senior moment

"Oh-oh - I think I just lost my enlightenment momentum!"

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

'Grandpa says there's more to life than what you see on TV. He must not have cable.'

"Remember anything recently?"

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

'Maybe this would work better if we tried exinguishing each OTHER'S egos.'

The muse for letters to the editor.