Literary Sage Gifts

"Your bookshelf tells me everything I need to know."

Voltaire

"Behold the secret to happiness."

British savings accounts

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Lady of the bath...

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The Paper Route

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

Three Witches from Macbeth

Justice

"Less roman, more clef."

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."