Literary Sage Gifts

"Your bookshelf tells me everything I need to know."

Voltaire

"Behold the secret to happiness."

British savings accounts

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Lady of the bath...

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

The Paper Route

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"First order of business...no more memos beginning 'Once Upon a Time.'"

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

"Less roman, more clef."

Justice

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

Three Witches from Macbeth

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."