Historical Sage Appreciator Gifts

Philosopher Wang Yangming, China

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Voltaire

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

US Tightens The Iraq War Belt

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

Assasination Attempt on Tsar Alexander II

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

Having a senior moment

Black plague swab testing

Benjamin Disraeli