Sage Spirit Gifts

Challenges of old age

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

One way only.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

Having a senior moment