Screw Sage Gifts

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Dog stretching before a walk.

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

I love embroidery

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

"Just think, someday we'll be considered 'retro'."

"You're dated look is an absolute tour de force."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'Oh, Goddess of Fashion, speak to me!'

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

'The secret to finding all knowledge is to use exactly the right keywords when you google.'

The Senior Citizen Surfer

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

"Great waves to day, dude!"

Are your cowhide coats any good?

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

"A door can never have too many hinges."

Roy Hodgson