Socket Sage Gifts

Big outlet, small extension cord.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Music producers.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

Computer spying.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

Soon The Moon Will Have Cellphone Reception Better Than That One Part Of Your Commute

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

A fortune cookie for investors.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

Sigh...things wear oud, dust collects, people die... Why can't you just relax and enjoy life? Because one thing really worries me... Reincarnation, right? ou know me too well, woman.