Company Sage Gifts

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

The day the stock market went UP.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Music producers.

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"How can anyone remember Cheech and not remember Chong?"

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

"I make money, therefore I am."

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

'Today the Dow finally outpaced the Jones.'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Gawk

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

'And in further economic news, the silver lining in the latest economic crisies has been downgraded to bronze.'

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

"She died doing what she loved."

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'