Technology Sage Gifts

'My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping.' 'Mine is to figure out how this smart card works.'

Gawk

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

Mountain Man with computer backup.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

Wikipedia...

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Music producers.

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

"Say one Our Father Attenborough and three Hail Gretas."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

It's the biofuel generation.

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Climate Summit