Software Sage Gifts

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

This one needs re-booting!

"You are using an unregistered copy of this software...please register..."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"It's the golden rule of the computer age: If it ain't broke, upgrade it."

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Here's MY information highway!'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Wikipedia...

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Music producers.

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

IMHOtep

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.