Internet Sage Gifts

God started to wonder if his spam filter was too effective.

"Of course being celibate, all my advice is second-hand via the internet..."

'It wasn't a hasty decision. A lot of blogging went into it.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Twitter censorship

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Wikipedia...

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Are you working on a vaccine for Covid-19?"

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

Multiple personalities with blogs.

"Your Honour, Counsel submits the emails are admissible on the basis that anyone could have guessed the password."

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

Computer spying.

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Computer whisperer.

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"