Skateboarding Sage Gifts

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

It's fun and gets Goopta home quickly --- Now that's a state of enlightenment!

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

Canadian Jesus

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

"There's more to life than winning. There's losing - to deduct capital losses on your taxes."

The Senior Citizen Surfer

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

Jesus Saves

"If you don't want to know the score..."

'The head of our script department!'

Roy Hodgson

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

'Dinosaur museum,soccer pundit exhibit.

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

"Finally, a world where everyone wants to serve me."

Holiday on Thin Ice

"You just couldn't shut up could you?"

When Daisy died, you said she'd gone to a better place!

"You do know the skateboard was invented by the devil."

Kids! Where's your brother?

My flight back into town was kind of scary. It was so foggy, I couldn�t see the wingtips. Next time, wear penny loafers. They shiny pennies make them easier to see than wing tips.

5K Run. How'd the 5K go, Frank? I only made it to the "G."