Sage Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

The Inner Dog.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

The New Age Dentist.

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

New Age Pit Bull

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

"My life is a powerful blast tocenter field easily snagged on the warning track."

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

Bucket List Coffee Shop - "Where Seniors Get Big Ideas!"

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

'Okay, one more saga and then off you go to sleep.'

"It's customary to climb all the way up."

"Meaning of life? Oh, you want my brother. Third mountain over on my right. Me, I'm just a hermit."

"What makes you think I have buck fever?"

'This would make a great back massager.'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

"There is a man at the door who needs seventeen dollars to buy some sweet grass to burn as a spiritual cleansing agent during his prayer ceremonies."

New Age Auto Repair

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."